A peak behind the BANDED - STRONGER TOGETHER initiative 1
Movember has become an annual event, much like October is associated with breast cancer. I am confident as you read this blog at least one person will come to mind who has passed away or is still struggling with this dis-ease. No that is not a typo, I purposely call this rampant invasion of malignant cells a dis-ease as it transforms anyone from living life with ease and plans, hopes and dreams to a state of discomfort, fear and anxiety i.e. dis-ease.
I will briefly open the door to a person who hears the big C pronounced over their lives. It starts with feeling unwell, loss of appetite in many cases and other symptoms that forces you to seek out advice from the house doctor you have been visiting for flu and other small discomforts and you are given a prescription or in some cases a visit to the hospital for minor surgery. Tests are performed and the mystery deepens; sonar and CT scans are the next step. Then a painful biopsy or two are performed. In some cases, other procedures are done to further narrow down the mystery. A colonoscopy, a gastroscopy, MRI or even a PET are ordered. This is all assuming you are covered by medical aid. For those who are not covered, long waits at a government hospital or clinic and then the very long periods of waiting for results. In the meantime, your mind starts running over various scenarios until the day you are contacted to see the doctor for news. This is the period of time before, up to this point it is all BEFORE.
Sitting in the waiting room continues with the before period. You are finally called to enter the doctors consulting room and invited to sit down. You know the news can't be good but yet the human spirit hopes that it is a minor problem... Then you hear the diagnosis and it's not minor, it is the AFTER moment, and you just want to go back to the waiting room moment, do a U-turn to before the tests and procedures, back to living life with ease.
Then the mind restarts from that after moment - disbelief, why me and what did I do to deserve this dis-ease. Suddenly in your mind, you see the end of the road of life. Nobody really deliberates on the end of the road, we all assume it will come naturally with age. Now it is all you can see. Panic, anger, grief for the person but the person you are grieving for is you. Leaving with some instructions that you haven't even heard and arrangements that you don't even agree to because you can't think, all you can do is go through the motions of going to your safe haven - your parents, partner, best friend, or just home and away from everything and anyone.
When you digest this a bite at a time you start losing your future with your loved ones, your children, your grandchildren and yourself. There is no planning going on, just a total panic. As people become informed their treatment of you turns from normal to something that sits uncomfortably with you. You see their discomfort in their eyes or the way they speak to you, you feel it in the way they hug you - you feel their despair despite the encouragement and advice. Then the advice from everyone, all well-intended but in the state of disbelief, you will clutch at every piece of advice, good or bad. Well-meaning friends will regale you with stories of how they knew someone with cancer, and they DIED, yes dead in weeks. This is the last thing anyone needs to hear just after they received the worst news of their life.
(to be continued)
I will briefly open the door to a person who hears the big C pronounced over their lives. It starts with feeling unwell, loss of appetite in many cases and other symptoms that forces you to seek out advice from the house doctor you have been visiting for flu and other small discomforts and you are given a prescription or in some cases a visit to the hospital for minor surgery. Tests are performed and the mystery deepens; sonar and CT scans are the next step. Then a painful biopsy or two are performed. In some cases, other procedures are done to further narrow down the mystery. A colonoscopy, a gastroscopy, MRI or even a PET are ordered. This is all assuming you are covered by medical aid. For those who are not covered, long waits at a government hospital or clinic and then the very long periods of waiting for results. In the meantime, your mind starts running over various scenarios until the day you are contacted to see the doctor for news. This is the period of time before, up to this point it is all BEFORE.
Sitting in the waiting room continues with the before period. You are finally called to enter the doctors consulting room and invited to sit down. You know the news can't be good but yet the human spirit hopes that it is a minor problem... Then you hear the diagnosis and it's not minor, it is the AFTER moment, and you just want to go back to the waiting room moment, do a U-turn to before the tests and procedures, back to living life with ease.
Then the mind restarts from that after moment - disbelief, why me and what did I do to deserve this dis-ease. Suddenly in your mind, you see the end of the road of life. Nobody really deliberates on the end of the road, we all assume it will come naturally with age. Now it is all you can see. Panic, anger, grief for the person but the person you are grieving for is you. Leaving with some instructions that you haven't even heard and arrangements that you don't even agree to because you can't think, all you can do is go through the motions of going to your safe haven - your parents, partner, best friend, or just home and away from everything and anyone.
When you digest this a bite at a time you start losing your future with your loved ones, your children, your grandchildren and yourself. There is no planning going on, just a total panic. As people become informed their treatment of you turns from normal to something that sits uncomfortably with you. You see their discomfort in their eyes or the way they speak to you, you feel it in the way they hug you - you feel their despair despite the encouragement and advice. Then the advice from everyone, all well-intended but in the state of disbelief, you will clutch at every piece of advice, good or bad. Well-meaning friends will regale you with stories of how they knew someone with cancer, and they DIED, yes dead in weeks. This is the last thing anyone needs to hear just after they received the worst news of their life.
(to be continued)
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